Monday, February 20, 2012

No Flying Cars to be Found

This post is going to be scattered, since there's lots of little things I want to say. So I am going to put it in one post. If you get confused, just pretend a squirrel on coffee wrote the post while having an epileptic fit, m'kay?

*Yes, I am still pregnant. I am scheduled to be induced on Thursday. So either the baby decides to come before, or I'll have to evict him then. I am mostly trying to ignore the contractions I am having, since wondering every few hours "AM I IN LABOR?" will drive me insane. My parents and in laws however, are not relaxing as well, and thus I have had to tell them to not ask me every time I call if I am in labor.

*You need to check out this post by my friend Joe. You need to. Then, you really need to read the Brian Brushwood/Teller correspondence he linked to. It's amazing and insightful, and yeah. If I could force words into your brain, it would be this correspondence.

*My husband found this last night: 9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn. I teased him that he was already Googling child-rearing techniques, but his story is he found the site through another essay this guy wrote. Even if you're not gearing it towards raising kids, I think considering these skills is a good idea. Because there's a surprising corollary to 9 Essential Skills--- How "The Karate Kid" Ruined the Modern World.

*I am editing my ghost book, and beta reading another book, and I am enjoying this back and forth between the two. It's been very enjoyable. Have I mentioned I'm enjoying it?

*Back to the pregnancy thing: it really really irritates me just how poorly it's shown in movies and television. I know, I know. Elizabeth, it's not real. Even reality TV isn't real. Why expect realism? But it's something about HOW wrong they get it that bothers me. You see a woman touch her belly and say "It's time" and then they go to the hospital where she screams at her husband and then, POOF, baby. There's nothing about the broad spectrum of in between. I don't think it would kill producers to just be a little more realistic, if only so women don't suffer from these shattered illusions when they actually experience it for themselves (like, I don't know, having labor pains on and off for a WEEK). It would be like, I don't know, every movie showing flying cars. And then when you go buy a car for yourself, NONE of them fly. Not a single one. Do your research people. Not sure I am making sense anymore, but yeah. I had to get that off my chest. 

In summation: pregnancy/labor as shown on TV and movies? Nothing like a flying car.

*I am pretty sure there was something else, but of course I've forgotten it. It will come to me while I am in the middle of showering or driving or doing something that prevents me from jotting it down. I can only apologize. 

UPDATE: Oh yeah, I remember. I was going to complain about how the magical power of eggplant has failed me. But that's pretty obvious isn't it? And you'd probably just scoff at me for putting my faith in the magical powers of a vegetable. Because really, if eggplant induced labor for reals, they'd tell us not to eat it until the end of the pregnancy. I've also tried all of the other old wives tales, minus the castor oil. Because yeah, just look up what castor oil actually DOES. No thank you.


  1. That's me! I'm famous! Woo hoo!

    Also, you should try to hold onto the kid until next Wednesday. Then he'll have something to talk about for the rest of his life.

  2. You and Chad both! Chad keeps insisting we induce on Leap Year, and then he'll have a birthday every four years...good thing for me it's not healthy to let him bake that long. :D

  3. Bah, if he's a little slow, just tell them he may look twenty but he's really only five!

  4. No flying cars? Oh, man, I'm utterly disillusioned.

    I think beta reading someone else's story and editing your own seem to go hand in hand very nicely. It kind of greases the wheels.

    I think you should ask for your money back at the eggplant parmigiani place. Or at least tell them to start a wall with babies that didn't come out after mama eat it.

    BTW, have you tried putting your hand on your belly and saying, "Poof, it's time!" Just saying...