Pages

Friday, May 6, 2011

How? Warning: This Post Contains Bird Poop

I have a very simple question. It shouldn't be that difficult to figure out, but my husband and I have been scratching our heads about this for a few days.

And my apologies if this is TMI or not appropriate (I did a quick search on agent blogs, but none of them have mentioned if bird poop is an acceptable blogging topic for aspiring authors) but I am not trying to be gross. I just honestly want to know.


How did bird poop end up on the side of my apartment wall? It's right between the door and the window. Here's a picture for reference:


You can see the bird's little gift to us in the middle. And before you run to the comments and tell me that all animals have to poop, let me give you some more perspective:






That's the hallway. There is several feet of walkway, a railing, and a large overhang past the balcony. My husband and I stood outside and looked around the apartment, trying to figure out the exact trajectory that would cause poop to land on the inside of our apartment balcony, against the wall. 

We have no answers. What you see to the left is a large tree. It's not like a bird could fly towards that exact spot and the wind just carried it's donation the rest of the way. There's a monstrously large tree in the way. The overhang should prevent the bird's butt from getting anywhere near the railing, much less three feet inside along our wall.

I keep trying to line up the trajectory, but no line I draw through the spot in question and the outside matches up. Then again, I am not a physics major. 

But still. Did the bird do a barrel roll through the hallway? There's nothing for them to perch on inside the walkway, so it didn't happen while they were hanging out. My husband's theory is during that bad windstorm/tornado watch we had a few days ago the bird got scared and the wind carried it. But I am not convinced.


Did I piss the birds off somehow? Has my apartment been marked for death? Am I in the middle of some sort of bird holy war? Is this their way of telling me I need "protection" and should donate in the form of bird seed and bread?

I am pretty sure it was the cardinals. There's two of them that like to sit on the tree outside and look smug. I mentioned how the cardinals always look smug on Twitter (Twitter...as in birds...coincidence? I think not.) and the next day...bird poop on the side of my apartment.

I don't know. Perhaps those of you with a science background can work out the right angle for me. Because at the moment, I am going with blaming the cardinals.

And yes, I cleaned it up. Who knows what that's bird-code for? 

13 comments:

  1. I'm with the mister on this one: the wind carried it. My secondary theory involves squirrels with slingshots.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
      or
      call/whatsapp:+2349057261346




      i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
      or
      call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

      Delete
  2. A couple of considerations:
    First, we have newton to thank for the whole objects in motion tend to stay in motion thing, even poop.
    Second, birds poop on the wing, meaning they impart a velocity on the poo as they do their doody.
    What this means, is that a bird flying over your building at a solid clip will literally shoot poo in a direction, in this case, at your building. Add a bit of lucky wind, and yeah, you got poo bombed.
    But that is a pretty impressive shot. I wonder if they score points for originality and difficulty of maneuver...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think just in case it *is* squirrels with slingshots, you should sit out there quietly with a camera for a week. Some kind of camouflage might be in order. You could paint yourself to blend in with the background: beige with stripes. I'll talk to you when you come back inside to present the results.

    ReplyDelete
  4. See, I knew I would have my scientist friends to help me out. Rena confirms that while highly unlikely, it IS possible for the bird's poop to land on the side of our building at that angle.

    Although I am thinking I might have to camp outside my apartment like you suggested Lena, just to be sure.

    ReplyDelete
  5. At least it didn't land ON you or your dh. (I have had that delight, though farther from my house than that!) I can imagine a bird sat on your banister, took off toward your window, then changed trajectories, leaving behind a present. I'm sure it is good luck, right? As long as the bird didn't fly into the window. (According to my Welsh, and very superstitious, grandmother, that means someone is going to die.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Linda: Yes, let's take that as a sign of good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't know how it got there, but it does look like it's time to call bird removal NJ!

    ReplyDelete
  8. i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346




    i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well I would like to know howthis happen as well. Because I've been searching the internet trying to figure out what kind of critter is leaving runny brown poop on the side of my house. Could this be a bird as well? There's all kinds of descriptions of different kinds if critters poop online, but none about runny or splattered,poop on the side of the house. Could my issue be a bird, as well. Help me understand that as well. I'm glad you bought this subject up.

    ReplyDelete
  10. See I am wondering this as well! Die you figure it out?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have a hawk sitting on a business building in a perch about 2ft x 2ftx 2ft and there is white poo on the window on the inner part of the perch and it looks smeared all on the window. Like how did that even happen? And then its dripped down on 4 other windows below.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am Very Excited! I like it very much, and i am impressed with your work........thank you ji. I have written Hindi Grammar, in very easy and simple language, Which is very useful for aspirants and students who want to learn hindi or english grammar and sanskrit grammar.

    ReplyDelete