Uppity Updates!

Just in case you were all wondering what's going on, here's some updates on life, the universe, and everything:

*I am overwhelmed by how awesome all of you are. You guys were nice and supportive about my last post, which only proves my point that you guys are awesome. Also, let's see how many times I can use the word "awesome". It's really awesome that you guys are so awesome. :D


*I wrote this sentence to prove that I have a larger vocabulary than a teenage girl. Actually, that's an unfair statement considering when I was a teenage girl I had a large vocabulary, as did most of the girls I knew. I apologize to teenage girls everywhere.

*I have finished the first draft of Zombie Road Trip. I did not celebrate this occurrence with a blog post, mostly because this draft wins the gold medal of crappiness. I seem to really embrace that whole "crappy first draft" rule. When I say crappy, I am not being modest or hard on myself. We're talking about plot holes the size of the moon, plot threads that went nowhere, a beginning that in no way shape or form matches the middle or the end, and that's just the major stuff. Last year I wrote several first drafts, all of which suck. It seems that this year will be the year of editing these drafts into some semblance of coherence. More on that later.

*I narrowly avoided death yesterday on my way to the OB. A woman was driving and putting make up on. Just, no. No ladies. You're beautiful. You don't have to apply make up while your vehicle is in motion. Really, you don't. At least wait until you get to the parking lot of your destination. And no, waiting at a red light doesn't count. 

*I am 36 1/2 weeks pregnant, and boy am I fat. I had my baby shower this past Saturday and I saw the pictures and wow. Just, wow. It looks like I am smuggling a watermelon under my shirt. Before you guys get all worried or mad at me for calling myself fat, I don't mean it in a "I must now starve myself to keep my girlish figure at 9 months pregnant" way. It's funny, especially since I've always been small. Just when I think my belly can't possibly get any bigger, it does. I am not starving myself; on the contrary, pass me another brownie. It's just that I've gained 30 pounds, and well...it's hilarious. I waddle when I walk. I have a hard time getting off the couch. I out grew my maternity pants and had to buy the next size up. You see? Hilarious.

Fun baby shower game--guess the pregnant woman's belly size! My friend Janice actually guessed it perfectly. Jennifer, the woman in the picture, obviously over shot it by a lot. Thanks Jennifer.

 *Something something something, something something goes here but I forgot what it was.


*I am critiquing two novels and failing miserably. My brain is slush right now, and I can't concentrate for very long, so it's taking forever. I feel horrible, but figured giving the book back with a gigantic smiley face on it wasn't exactly what my crit partners were looking for.

*Holy crap babies make a lot of laundry! I mean, sweet Georgia Brown, he's not even out yet and I've already done two loads of laundry and have about three more to do. Blankets, burp clothes, wash clothes, bibs, clothing, socks (LOTS of teeny baby socks), you name it, I've washed it. 


*No, I am not nesting yet, why do you ask?


*Editing! Yes, it's that time. Last year I wrote a bunch of really, really awful first drafts. This year will be the year I edit them. There's a lot of rewriting in my future. Grid your loins for posts about editing, that's all I've got to say.


*I've downloaded a ton of books on my Kindle. Right now I am reading James Scott Bell's Writing Fiction for All Your Worth and loving it. Reading books on writing puts me in an editing frame of mind, which is great because I am going to need it. Bell has this awesome (there's another one!) makes me want to work on WIP, right away. When I start whining about editing, you guys can remind me I was excited way back when. 

So what are you all up to?