A New Reality TV Show: Writing a Novel

Reality TV show given to people who just had lots of kids. My show is in the bag.

Guys, I just had the greatest idea.

Reality TV is here to stay. We all know that. They will give anyone a reality TV show if they do something halfway interesting. Sometimes not even then.

But I've thought about an untapped market in the reality TV realm.

Writers. Writing books.

Imagine how gripping it would be to watch a writer furiously typing away at the keyboard. Imagine the tension as the writer pounds his head against his (or her) desk trying to remember the name of those boxes built into the wall that hold firewood indoors.

You'll watch day by day as the writer gets the brilliant idea for their next book. You'll see the sweat pour from their veins as they try to figure out how to make a romance/space western/historical fiction with a hamster as a main character and a velociraptor sidekick work.

This show would follow the writer as they go through rough draft blues. When they want to throw away their book because the edits are eating them alive. The show will document the query process.

Face it folks. Writers are a bunch of crazy people. We're nutty than a bunch of squirrels eating peanut butter on a bed of macadamia nuts. You know it. I know it. Following a writer through their daily routine of typing the words out on the computer? That is high quality drama right there. 

There could be guest agents, sort of like Celebrity Apprentice. The agents could judge the query/book and say things like "This guy has real talent. He's someone to watch." Or they could get an agent like Simon Powell on American Idol who could be all tough love: "I'm not loving it. The words are there, but there's no heart."

One of the guest agents should have fabulous hair, like Donald Trump's.

And then towards the end of every episode, the writer could be all, "I can't do it! I'm a fraud! I DON'T WHERE THE WORDS COME FROM!" And then the writer pulls out his hair like a modern day Van Gogh.

They could get several different writers and follow their career. They could have write offs, contests, specials on pantsers versus plotters.

I will await an email from the major TV networks in order to bring this plan into fruition.