Thursday, June 28, 2012

Flash Fiction Challenge: Shine On You Crazy Diamond

This week I am participating in Chuck Wendig's Flash Fiction challenge. It is awesome, and you can find the details here.

Without further ado, here is the story:

Shine On, You Crazy Diamond

Wanking Caffeine?”
“Yep.” I said, tuning my Fender.
“But, uh, shouldn’t you, uh, you know, name the band something more…” Jake paused. “Something different?”
“Like what?” For now, the amphitheater was empty. No one in the seats except ghosts.
“Anything. Anything more than ‘Wanking Caffeine’.”
I picked out the opening notes to “Shine On You Crazy Diamond.” David Gilmour was some serious shit.
He stepped in front of me. “I knew you weren’t going to the funeral, but you could have gone to the memorial service.”
Jake could be a real ass.
“Or the viewing at least.”
I didn’t need to go to the viewing. I already knew what Daniel had looked like.
 “I mean, what does that even mean? ‘Wanking Caffeine.’ Is that some kind of joke? It’s a joke, isn’t it?”
“You want our band named after a joke? After everything that’s happened?”
I’d read in some book somewhere that in “Shine On You Crazy Diamond”, David Gilmour got sadness down in four notes. Almost four minutes into the song you could hear it clearly: B flat, F, G, E.
“Everyone at the service said he was a great guy. I thought you should know that. They weren’t just being nice, either, I could tell. He was honestly one of those people everyone got along with.”
Now that I’d read that, I couldn’t get it out of my head. I strummed each note, B flat, F, G, E.
“You’re being completely unreasonable. Completely and utterly.”
B flat, F, G, E.
“We’re about to play the big time, for crissakes.”
B flat, F, G, E.
“I thought you wanted our band to be taken seriously. We can’t be taken seriously with a band named ‘Wanking Caffeine.’ There’s just no way. None. No way at all.”
B flat, F, G, E, and now the rest of the band would come in. Back up guitar, synthesizer, and drums if Jake wasn’t currently wanking caffeine himself. The entire time, that four note theme playing over and over.
Jake sighed. He picked up his drumsticks. “Wanking Caffeine?”
“Wanking Caffeine,” I said.
“Are you at least going to tell me what it means?”
“Maybe someday.” I smiled.
“Remember when you were young,” I sang, “You shone like the sun. Shine on you crazy diamond.”

***Special Note: The book mentioned is called Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly. It just didn't fit to put it in the flash fiction, but I still wanted to give Ms. Donnelly credit where credit is due.


  1. Good little story, I'm curious to know the backstory. The narrator's head is like the inside of mine when I'm thinking about my WIP. BTW, that's an awesome band name!

  2. Thanks Nick!

    The backstory is my best friend's husband's cousin just died this past week, so I was thinking about funerals and bands. I wanted to see how much subtext I could put into such a short medium using mostly dialogue, and this was the result.

    LOL, the narrator's head is like mine as well.

  3. Nice little story - I like the two conversations going on - together yet not. And those four note - you're right - I hopped over to Youtube and had a listen. Still playing while I write.

  4. Ravens: Thanks! I really like experimenting with subtext and dialogue, so I am glad it seems to be working.

    The first time I read that about "Shine On..." I did the same thing and got goosebumps. :D