Thursday, April 1, 2010

A New Pet for Me!

I am sooooooooooooooooooo excited! I am picking up my new pet today. I had to wait a while, since the waiting list is so long, but it’s definitely worth it. I had a yellow lab, but he died last December. I’ve had enough time to mourn, and I think I am ready for a new companion. Instead of another dog, I opted to try something new. You may not have heard of them, because they’re shy creatures, but I am bringing home my house buffalo today!

*happy dance*

(They love water and can often be found in your bathtub at night)

I did a bunch of research before making my decision, since miniature elephants

and toy hippopotamuses are starting to get popular

but in the end I thought a house buffalo would be the best fit for me. They’re obviously a lot smaller than a regular buffalo, so they only grow to be about 10 pounds, about the size of a cat. Some breeds can get to be 50 pounds or so, about the size of a large dog.

House buffalos are majestic creatures, giving you a lifetime of unconditional love, loyalty, friendship, and the gentle pitter patted of hooves on linoleum. They live for up to 15 years, and are great with kids. They’ve been known to start herding toddlers together, so the House Buffalo Awareness Organization, or the H.B.A.O., is creating a program to bring house buffalos into daycare centers.

(Like this only smaller! And with toddlers!)

Because house buffalos required special care, I had to fill out all sorts of forms, and provide three different forms of identification. I volunteered to take a class on caring for your house buffalo to increase my chances of getting one before next year, and apparently it worked, because I got the call this morning. Huzzah!

I am thinking about naming her Sam (Isn’t it cute when girls have guy names?!! :D ) but I will make my final decision when I bring her home with me. I have to have her mircochiped of course, because even house buffalo like to graze, and she might get out of my fenced-in backyard. If I want to walk her outside of my yard I have to keep her on a leash, so I bought a purple leash and collar for her, along with a litter box, bed, house buffalo kibble, and lots of peanut butter. Peanut butter is a favorite treat, and if your house buffalo ever hides somewhere inside your house, you can just lay some peanut butter down in the kitchen and they come stampeding over to the peanut butter. House buffalo are adept at hiding in small dark places. The H.B.A.O. believes that many people have wild house buffalo living in their house, within the walls and underneath the furniture. Since they’re nocturnal and exceedingly shy, most people don’t see them.

(Sleepy! It's too bright out!)

If you want to find out if you’re sharing your home with a house buffalo, just get a paper plate and spread some peanut butter on it, like a salt lick for deer, only it’s peanut butter for house buffalo. Leave it on your kitchen floor overnight. Usually you won’t see anything for a few days, since they’re so shy, but if you leave your peanut butter lick out long enough, you’ll eventually find tiny hoof marks in the peanut butter. That’s a sure sign of the presence of house buffalo. Don’t worry, they aren’t pests. They used to be found only in the Midwest, but when people started traveling more and more, house buffalo would find their way into people’s trunks while they stopped at rest stops, or in a trucker’s cargo and eventually, came to live in most parts of the United States and Canada. There are some reports of house buffalo migrating as far as Europe, but the H.B.O.A. haven’t confirmed most of these sightings yet, due to the house buffalo’s shy nature.

(You can take the buffalo out of the prairie, but you can't take the prairie out of the buffalo)

I also bought Sam some toys, and matching food and water dishes! The H.B.A.O has already taken care of her first round of shots for me, but then I have to take Sam to the vet a few weeks afterwards. I haven’t told my vet that I am getting a house buffalo yet. I can’t wait to see the look on her face when I bring Sam in for her next round of vaccinations. Hehehehe, won’t SHE be surprised? ;)

(Lookit how happy he is! He's probably working on a peanut butter lick right now)

The only downside to getting a house buffalo is I will have to stop eating at Ted’s Montana Grill. They serve bison. The guilt would be too much. I don’t think I could have a bison burger and then come home and look Sam in the eye.

I wish I had pictures to post, but I haven’t picked her up yet, so you guys will have to wait until I bring her home. So you’ll have to make do with regular buffalo pictures.


  1. Yaaay! And if you ever come to visit me, make sure you bring her so she can play with my pet giraffe, Emma. You'll see her stick her head out of our living room window. (We have high ceilings, but not *that* high.)

  2. @ Lena: I almost got a giraffe, but I thought he would bonk his head on the ceiling fans. So I opted for the house buffalo. I will definitely bring Sam when I come visit. They make little carry bags so you can travel with them.

  3. NPR had a piece yesterday about the prevalence of water buffaloes in India and their use to make low-cost mozzarella cheese.

  4. Despite your effusive praise of the house buffalo's pluses, I refuse to get one. Sorry, you can't make me. They are well known to be destructive, make little "presents" all over the place, and wake you at night with their whining. And there are days they eat you out of house and home. Actually, they eat your house and home.

    I will stick to the simpler, and non-allergenic, teacup komodo dragon, which can go for weeks without eating. (Great for when you want to take a vacation, though they DO get lonely for you. Of course, their enthusiasm when you return is so much joy!)

  5. Nice. I really enjoyed reading this. It's good to know why there are hoof marks in the plates of peanut butter I leave out to catch burglar mice. I hate those little devils; always stealing insignificant items to take back to their Oliver Twist like hideaways. I should get in good with this house buffalo, and maybe it can keep an eye out for me.

  6. @Joseph: Soooo the water buffalo are used to make cheese or their milk is? I don't think I will be able to milk Sam very well...

    @Linda: That's why you need to litter box train your house buffalo. But a teacup komodo dragon is very cute. Just watch out for their tails.

    @Michael: "Oliver Twist like hideaways" LMAO! Yes, if you can train your wild house buffalo, you might be able to get him to herd your burglar mice away.

  7. Just FYI: their breath is rancid. Keep some Scope spray handy.

  8. Thanks Christi! Sam's breath is a little rank so I keep popping tic tacs in her mouth. I might get one of those Listerene spray things.