I am sooooooooooooooooooo excited! I am picking up my new pet today. I had to wait a while, since the waiting list is so long, but it’s definitely worth it. I had a yellow lab, but he died last December. I’ve had enough time to mourn, and I think I am ready for a new companion. Instead of another dog, I opted to try something new. You may not have heard of them, because they’re shy creatures, but I am bringing home my house buffalo today!
(They love water and can often be found in your bathtub at night)
I did a bunch of research before making my decision, since miniature elephants
and toy hippopotamuses are starting to get popular
but in the end I thought a house buffalo would be the best fit for me. They’re obviously a lot smaller than a regular buffalo, so they only grow to be about 10 pounds, about the size of a cat. Some breeds can get to be 50 pounds or so, about the size of a large dog.
House buffalos are majestic creatures, giving you a lifetime of unconditional love, loyalty, friendship, and the gentle pitter patted of hooves on linoleum. They live for up to 15 years, and are great with kids. They’ve been known to start herding toddlers together, so the House Buffalo Awareness Organization, or the H.B.A.O., is creating a program to bring house buffalos into daycare centers.
(Like this only smaller! And with toddlers!)
Because house buffalos required special care, I had to fill out all sorts of forms, and provide three different forms of identification. I volunteered to take a class on caring for your house buffalo to increase my chances of getting one before next year, and apparently it worked, because I got the call this morning. Huzzah!
I am thinking about naming her Sam (Isn’t it cute when girls have guy names?!! :D ) but I will make my final decision when I bring her home with me. I have to have her mircochiped of course, because even house buffalo like to graze, and she might get out of my fenced-in backyard. If I want to walk her outside of my yard I have to keep her on a leash, so I bought a purple leash and collar for her, along with a litter box, bed, house buffalo kibble, and lots of peanut butter. Peanut butter is a favorite treat, and if your house buffalo ever hides somewhere inside your house, you can just lay some peanut butter down in the kitchen and they come stampeding over to the peanut butter. House buffalo are adept at hiding in small dark places. The H.B.A.O. believes that many people have wild house buffalo living in their house, within the walls and underneath the furniture. Since they’re nocturnal and exceedingly shy, most people don’t see them.
(Sleepy! It's too bright out!)
If you want to find out if you’re sharing your home with a house buffalo, just get a paper plate and spread some peanut butter on it, like a salt lick for deer, only it’s peanut butter for house buffalo. Leave it on your kitchen floor overnight. Usually you won’t see anything for a few days, since they’re so shy, but if you leave your peanut butter lick out long enough, you’ll eventually find tiny hoof marks in the peanut butter. That’s a sure sign of the presence of house buffalo. Don’t worry, they aren’t pests. They used to be found only in the Midwest, but when people started traveling more and more, house buffalo would find their way into people’s trunks while they stopped at rest stops, or in a trucker’s cargo and eventually, came to live in most parts of the United States and Canada. There are some reports of house buffalo migrating as far as Europe, but the H.B.O.A. haven’t confirmed most of these sightings yet, due to the house buffalo’s shy nature.
(You can take the buffalo out of the prairie, but you can't take the prairie out of the buffalo)
I also bought Sam some toys, and matching food and water dishes! The H.B.A.O has already taken care of her first round of shots for me, but then I have to take Sam to the vet a few weeks afterwards. I haven’t told my vet that I am getting a house buffalo yet. I can’t wait to see the look on her face when I bring Sam in for her next round of vaccinations. Hehehehe, won’t SHE be surprised? ;)
(Lookit how happy he is! He's probably working on a peanut butter lick right now)
The only downside to getting a house buffalo is I will have to stop eating at Ted’s Montana Grill. They serve bison. The guilt would be too much. I don’t think I could have a bison burger and then come home and look Sam in the eye.
I wish I had pictures to post, but I haven’t picked her up yet, so you guys will have to wait until I bring her home. So you’ll have to make do with regular buffalo pictures.