Guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we've been doing this writing thing ALL WRONG.
You know how we all keep toiling for years at our craft? Trying to shape an amazing idea into a well executed story that will win us both literary and commercial acclaim? Also, land us on the bestseller's list for three thousands years and earn a boatload of cash so we can retire to the tropical island we just bought?
But that "toiling away for years" thing sounds like a lot of work, am I right?
Lucky for me, I've found the solution. And since I am nice, I will share it with you.
Feast your eyes on the Genre-Fiction Generator 2000. *dramatic crash*
Go to that website, and pick out your plot. Write the book, and then the rest is in the bag! Easy!
I haven't decided on anything else yet, but I know my next novel is going to feature "the help of a female who inexplicably becomes attracted to the damaged protagonist for unstated reasons" and her "cleavage", "culminating in convoluted nonsense that squanders the reader's good will".
Feel free to share your future masterpieces in the comments section.