Crazy Land

Now seems like a really great time to let you guys know what's going on. So here we go!

The movers are coming this Saturday to pack all our stuff on a truck, to put it on a boat, to send it to Puerto Rico. See how many prepositions I got in one sentence? That's mad skillz right there.

This boat will be crawling at a snails pace, as we're assured our stuff will be there in four to six weeks. Yeah, ouch. My husband is already in Puerto Rico; today was his first day at work. He arrived last week and managed to secure a Jeep and a house in that span of time. Yeah, we've been busy.

Meanwhile, everything in the house that isn't my computer or the toddler is packed. Although the toddler has tried to pack himself repeatedly, I told him we can't afford the postage to mail him to daddy. When I called the movers last Friday they told me they would be here between Wednesday and Friday of this week (EEEP), so I assumed worst case scenario, and packed ALL THE THINGS. Of course, now they're coming Saturday, but hey. At least we're ready.

Now, the husband has the house we're renting, and an air mattress, and some EasyMac, but since it's going to take so long for the rest of our stuff to get to Puerto Rico, Connor and I will be staying with my in-laws on this side of the ocean for a little while. We're not sure how long exactly, since a) we have more cookware in the house than previously thought and b) he  came back from being in Oklahoma for six weeks only to leave for Puerto Rico four days later, so we MISS each other (I know, ewwww mushy stuff!), but the fact remains it would be better to give our stuff a head start, so to speak. 

ALSO I have stuff to accomplish over here. Stuff like physically going to the water and power companies to close our accounts, the walk through for the house we were renting, and spending time with friends and family. I KNOW! *sniff* Don't get me started. I'm really, really excited to live in Puerto Rico, and my husband has already told me how beautiful it is, but I'm still going to miss my friends and family. I haven't made a long distance move in 15 years, so I'm a little set in my ways. 

In my free time (I know, I slay myself...free time *snickers*) I've been doing some brainstorming, but I'm flitting between three different projects. I'm done with my second draft of Zombie Road Trip, but every time I go to start another novel, I feel pressured to pick the right one (which is utter b.s.) and also the voice tells me I don't actually have time to write a novel right now. Which is closer to the truth, but I can still dream, right? Right.  

We'll see what's taken hold when I can actually sit down to write something. Considering I'll be staying with my in-laws before Connor and I fly out to Puerto Rico (and let me tell you, I am so looking forward to getting the toddler on a plane again...) I don't know what my schedule is going to be like. I'll have access to my computer, but I doubt I'll have a lot of time to myself. 

Come on Mom, what's the worst that could happen? I promise I won't scream all during take off and landing again.

I plan to NaNo this year, so there's that. I was doing the dance of joy when I realized for ONCE I wouldn't be moving during November, but my joy is somewhat quashed by the realization that our stuff will probably arrive around the end of October. *facepalm*

So that's the story, morning glories. I'll be on a plane for Puerto Rico probably around the first week of October, and after that it's time to NaNo. I'll be blogging in between, but I'm not sure what the Internet situation is going to be like at my in-laws (they have it, but I need to make sure I can mooch off their wireless).

What do you guys having going on? How's the writing? The living?

Novelist Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia looks like it's spelled wrong, even though Google assures me it's correct. I for one am not going to question our Google overlords, so let's just go with it.

I'm in that weird place where I swing wildly back and forth between positive affirmations for my novel, to soul sucking despair. When you're doing any sort of serious editing, there's really no in between. You either sit down happy to put words to the page, or the minute you open Scrivener, you think of a million other things that have to be done right now.

I have the attention span of a hamster at the moment, so that just makes it worse. There are so many things I mean to do and forget to until I am in the middle of something else. These things range in importance from clipping a hang nail to paying a bill, so when I remember stuff while writing, the urge to take care of this other thing gets really strong. Unlike rocking my son to sleep, I can actually get up from the computer.

If I was a normal person, I could simply write this stuff down in a list and take care of it after I am finished writing. But depending on what I remembered, it turns into an itch that won't go away until I scratch it. Like that hang nail. I wish I was kidding, but it really bothers me when there's a catch on my nail. It bothers me so much that as I am writing, this is what is going through my mind:

"I really need to show how scary this zombie is...that hang nail won't go away."

*picks at the nail. It only makes the catch deeper*

"I really have to remember to cut it the next time I get up to pee. Back to the scene. But what if I forget? I keep forgetting to cut this darn thing and it's really starting to get on my nerves."

*bites nail. It only makes the nail ragged and gross looking*

"Damn, that's not any better. Now it's really going to bother me. Maybe I should just get up and cut it. No. The last time I did that, I got distracted and mopped the kitchen floor, made a sammich, and then remembered about the writing. Then I sat down and had to pee. No, I am just going to ignore the ragged nail and keep typing. Zombies. Think about the zombies."

So I think about the zombies for a little while, but the pressure to get up and cut the nail increases until it's like a klaxon in my brain...

"YOU HAVE A HANG NAIL IT WON'T GO AWAY OMG YOU NEED TO CUT IT THE HANG NAIL IT'S JAGGED AND GROSS AND YOU NEED TO CUT IT."

In the case of the hang nail, I gave in and cut it (I am sure there's a diagnosis and/or medication for people like me, but I prefer to just blame it on being really tired for about nine months now (But Liz, you say, your kid is only six months old, how can you be tired for longer than he's been alive? To which I say, thank you hypothetical person, for asking and noticing how old my kid is. Also, you don't sleep that last trimester of pregnancy. You're so big by that point that when you lay down, the baby sort of pushes up on your ribs and lungs, and mine decided that kicking was a fun way to past the time at night. So there's the other three months accounted for.)).

Now I've lost my train of thought, and I keep staring at the periods and parenthesis wondering if I have enough of them and they are properly placed. So we're moving on now.

For other stuff I just have to ignore it and keep writing. It's harder when the writing feels like crap, and it's pointless, and it's never going to get better and I am never going to amount to anything and everyone is going to be so disappointed I am going to have to physically move away even though this is the Internet and global warming is probably my fault too.

But seriously, you just have to buckle down and write. Even when you feel like it's crap, writing can be like a parachute. Writer's block? Write some words. Feel like it's all pointless? Keep writing, and eventually it will feel pointy again. Don't know what happens next? Write some words and make it up as you go along. Bored with the book in general?

THAT'S WHEN YOU MAKE THINGS GO BOOM.

You write some words, but man, add in something awesome. A nuclear-virus bomb explodes in Washington. Add a llama. Force feed a character with a nut allergy some peanut butter. Shake things up.  

Above all, when you have a million voices in your head chiming in about your novel, only listen to the nice ones.

The rest of them can take a hike.

So, what do you do to quell the voices? Besides medication, I mean. 

Blackbirds Release Date!

There are some books you mark your calender to remind yourself of the release date. BLACKBIRDS by Chuck Wendig is one of them.

I've read Chuck's blog for a while now, and ever since I heard him talk about the premise for the book I've been frothing at the mouth to read it. Here's the blurb:

Miriam Black knows when you will die.

Still in her early twenties, she's foreseen hundreds of car crashes, heart attacks, strokes, suicides, and slow deaths by cancer. But when Miriam hitches a ride with truck driver Louis Darling and shakes his hand, she sees that in thirty days Louis will be gruesomely murdered while he calls her name.

Miriam has given up trying to save people; that only makes their deaths happen. But Louis will die because he met her, and she will be the next victim. No matter what she does she can't save Louis. But if she wants to stay alive, she'll have to try.


So yeah...frothing at the mouth. I've always loved the idea of someone seeing the future and being unable to stop it (I actually have a book in the making about just that), and I love the twist that Wendig's put on it.

 You know you're intrigued too! Run, don't walk to your nearest bookstore or bookstore web page and order the book now!

Observations from the Day Job

Song playing: Cherry Pie by Warrant

Hello all! Back from the weekend! With exclamation points!

So how was your weekend? Mine was pretty good. I had a lot of clients on Saturday, and ate out at Ted’s beforehand (Mmmmm tasty burgers) so I was well prepared with protein.

Interesting observation from work on Saturday: upbeat, Mexican guitars, like the kind of music you heard in a Mexican restaurant, does not make very good massage music.



Oh how I wish I was kidding. The other two therapists and I came out of our respective massages (I am a licensed Neuromuscular therapist for those of you who don’t know )(“neuromuscular therapist” is a fancy way of saying massage therapist. I find less people think I am in the sex trade when I call my profession by a more technical name than the generic “massage” title )(I AM certified in neuromuscular therapy by the way, so I’m not just trying to make myself sound cooler than I am)(let’s see how many parenthetical asides I can use, shall we?)…so, we came out of our massages, looking at each other and shaking our heads. I was praying there would be a slow song on the CD but my prayers fell upon the deaf ears of the upbeat guitarist who made the CD.

I have no idea who thought “Spanish guitars” would even be close to slow enough for spa music, but they obviously didn’t listen to it beforehand. I felt like I should be serving queso and chips with my massage. One of the therapists (my sister in law, actually) said the only way she’d want to listen to music like that during a massage is if Antonio Banderas was the one giving the massage. We all agreed.

Another epic fail on the massage music front is the CD that sounds like you’re in the middle of a tropical rainforest.

“Hey, that sounds relaxing,” You think to yourself, “Maybe Elizabeth is just being too picky.”

Sure, okay. Let me set the mood:

You’re laying face down, relaxing. The massage therapist comes into the dimly lit room and lays a hot herbal pack on your back as you sink into bliss. She starts to work out the kinks in your calves and feet, and then your neck and shoulders.

The gentle pitter-patted of raindrops falling on what you imagine to be lush green leaves can be heard over the stereo system. You imagine yourself to be in tropical getaway. You feel yourself drifting off, not quite asleep but in a state of relaxation you haven’t felt in years…

Until the screech of the monkeys start.

“Who who who ah ah ah AH AHH”

You feel your therapist pause for a minute (you can’t see it, but she’s looking up at the ceiling, rolling her eyes, and thinking “Really? REALLY? Howler monkeys?”) before she goes on, trying to pretend neither of you were bothered by the howler monkeys.

The monkeys stop, and you start to think you imagined it, or it’s just that one place in the CD. You start to drift back into your happy place until TWO monkeys and what sounds like a baboon start in. From the sounds of their calls, the monkeys sound like they’re arguing. Over bugs, perhaps, or another girl monkey that has caught their fancy.

I think you get my point. We refer to that CD as the Malaria CD. We finally managed to figure out which CD it is, and took the stupid thing out. And hid it, so no one could find it and think “Oh look, a new CD. Relaxing Sounds of the Rainforest? That does sound relaxing! Let’s give this one a whirl.”

Other sounds people insist on putting on relaxation CDs that for the love of all that is holy I wish they wouldn’t:

*crickets cricketing
*frogs doing the “peep peep peep” noise
*sad piano music (not relaxing piano, sad piano music)
*loons…looning or whatever it is they do

Again, I wish I was kidding or even exaggerating a little bit.

I personally like harp music, and I am a sucker for the flute. Native American, bamboo, Celtic, whatever. I think flute music is the most relaxing sound in the world. The violin too, if it’s not “sad” violin music.

Overall I enjoy my day job (but not as much as I would enjoy writing full time for a living, universe, if you’re listening).

But I digress.

I am eating Corn Pops for breakfast. Kellogg’s is going on a “fiber” kick recently, has anyone else noticed this? Corn Pops and Fruit Loops are now advertising they are a good source of fiber. Fiber. As if that is the reason why people are eating Fruit Loops. Not because of the sugar, no. Because of the fiber. Thank goodness I can stop eating my Fiber Flakes now that Fruit Loops have more fiber. They’re colorful too! That’s how you know they’re healthy.

Oh yes, today’s progress report day.

Well, I wish I could say I did a lot of editing yesterday. I had the day off, and I can normally get a bunch of editing done, but yesterday provided some…interesting complications.

My computer is in the same room as my roommate’s computer. This has already tested my dedication to writing when right next to my desk (literally, right next to my desk. Like, my desk ends, and her desk begins) someone is watching TV on the internet, with the volume cranked up because her computer is old, and so the fan turns on every two minutes or so, even when she’s not using it.

But hey, it’s her house, and she should be able to watch TV when she wants to. I am sure it annoys her how frequently I play music ( *cough* all the time). We have a set of headphones, but I don’t like competing sounds. If someone is watching TV, I can’t stand to have music playing in the same room. It’s more distracting than just the TV. My roommate also likes to play those free computer games, you know, the ones where you find all the objects in a room from a list, or drag and drop puzzle pieces, or whatever. These games have the most obnoxious sound effects EVAR and yesterday she had the sound up loud, and was playing these games.

So I retreated to my room with my laptop. I can’t edit very well sitting on my bed and typing (hurts my wrists as well) so I resorted to surfing the Internets and researching my current WIP. It’s my mermaid book, henceforth referred to as The Mermaid Problem, so I am researching Kauai, Hawaii. I also put Criminal Minds in, henceforth known as the Dr. Reid show, because I like noise in the background.


(he's first guy over from right to left, the nerdy looking one who looks like a teacher's assitent)

Thank goodness for the Internet. I wouldn’t nearly have as much information on Kauai as I would if I couldn’t spy on the actual location via Google Maps. Unfortunately, the area that I am looking at setting the book (Near Haena and Hanalei Bay in case anyone is familiar with Kauai) is extremely rural, so not a lot of information about the area.



Which is okay. I have enough information that I feel like I can set my main characters’ houses there and not make a complete idiot of myself (only a partial idiot).

So there, that’s my progress. I took care of a lot of the research I needed for my WIP. I managed to edit in the morning, before the free computer games incident, so I did get some scenes done.

I could just keep rambling about whatever pops into my mind, but I guess I should go work on something before I have to go to work.

How was everyone’s weekend? Anything fun and exciting happen? What are your challenges writing, and how do you deal with it?

Hypnotize Yourself While Writing

Wednesday is answer-questions-day. See how my blog is falling into a nice pattern here?

Monday: Status update on writing projects, publishing, queries. Writing prompt to kick start the week!
Tuesday: Shout Outs! I talk about websites, music, books, poetry, and other authors/bloggers that I find helpful.
Wednesday: Q&A day. A day where I answer questions. Either from the comments section, or common questions that authors/human beings receive.
Thursday: ?
Friday: “Five for Friday” and stuff that’s in the news. I also thought I could have interviews and post them on Fridays.
Saturday: ?
Sunday: ?

Thursday, Saturday, and Sundays are To Be Announced. Either I will post about what’s on my mind (a scary thought, I know), or a problem I have noticed, or a grab bag. It’s a surprise!

So, today’s question: How do you stay interested in a book for so long?

I hear that one many times, usually from non-writers, but some writers too. They lose interest in a book idea, or set one aside, and try to come back to their idea, only to discover that they haven’t the slightest clue what they were getting at.

Life happens. Sometimes you get excited about an idea and for whatever reason, you have to set that shiny new idea down. But coming back once life allows you too isn’t always easy. It’s hard to get excited about it again, once the dust settles and time passes. Likewise, you may work on an idea, coax it into a plot, and start writing, only to discover three months, six months, maybe even a year later, that you loss interest, and other, shinier ideas are starting to crowd you. Been there, done that as well.

That’s why I hypnotize myself while writing.

In the beginning, when I first have an idea, I do everything I can to capture the feel, the tone, the mood of the idea. Let’s say the idea I have is about monkey cowboys. I was at the zoo one day, and saw the chimps swinging around, and saw one lone chimp, standing off to the side, like he was an outlaw. And I started to think…what if?

So let’s say I want to write a western with chimps. I write the idea down and brainstorm. Normally this process takes a few days, if not longer, to gather all of the things I associate with my idea, we’ll call it “Monkey on the Run”. I look through my folder of character pictures I have collected (in this case, I would have to start a new search for chimps, since I am specist, and only have humanoids in my character picture folder) and pick out some pictures to go with my characters. I start a new playlist in my itunes, entitled “Monkey on the Run” and fill it up with Bon Jovi songs (he sings about being a cowboy A LOT), country music songs, and any other songs that I might associate with the book. If I used the song-inspiration method I described on Monday, then I add those songs into the playlist. I find pictures of deserts, like Arizona, and maybe even rent/buy some classic Western movies to get an idea on common motifs in westerns.

During this process I am also writing down every idea that occurs to me. My early plots tend to be over complication and crowded, because I employ the “stew method” and just throw whatever sounds good into the plot. Then the plot elements start to fight with each other, and the things that no longer apply start to weed themselves out, like a literary Thunderdome, and I have myself a complex plot with new twists. I do a lot of pre-plotting stuff, brainstorming for plot twists, character motivations, and some worldbuilding (even if it’s set on Earth. Unless you’re writing about your home town, I suggest you do a lot of research into the town you’re setting your story. Lack of anchored setting is rampant these days and can be a silent killer for your book, and ever worse, once it’s there, it’s hard to detect.) You might not do all of that, so plan out whatever works for you.

I have noticed that as I am collecting these allusions—poems, songs, pictures, movies—that my brain files all of this away, and I start coming up with random associations. Like before, when I made the Thunderdome reference, I thought about how the post apocalyptic element could really work with my Outlaw chimp. *Cue “Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi* Maybe instead of a regular desert town, he’s traveling across a war torn wasteland of a country, bringing his own brand of justice to towns that need him dearly, and are willing to pay him any price to keep the roving bands of gorilla from destroying their precious banana crops. See how that works? The process of gathering things that remind you of your story will also in turn spin you more ideas for your story, like a Midgard Serpent of allusions. Sometimes I find a cool picture in a magazine while on this inspiration hunt, and not only does it look like the town the Outlaw chimp will make his last stand in, but there’s another character in the picture too. Perhaps a clown with a top hat and a sawed off shot gun. In that event, I get an idea for another character, maybe the Outlaw chimp’s sidekick.

And the really, really awesome thing about this hunt? The world of your story starts to breathe, starts to feel really REAL. When I sit down to write the story, I have my playlist playing, and maybe some of the magazine pictures tapped to the wall, and the fake book cover I made as my wallpaper on my computer, it’s so much easier to immerse myself in the story world.

And even more awesome than that? This false world will hold indefinitely. I can attest to that fact from experience. I have several ideas I have developed past the “chimp is an outlaw, a rebel without a cause, but addicted to Panama gold bananas” stage. These ideas were tabled for one reason or another, but every time I open the folder for the story, all I have to do is start the playlist, take a quick peak through the character list, and read through some of my story ideas, and I am immersed in the story idea again. It feels whole, and real. It’s no longer a hypothetical story that I might write someday, but something breathing. I am currently debating on three different stories to start working on, each of which are in various stages of development. But I got far enough in developing each of this stories that I could just as easily immerse myself in any of the idea again, with a little bit of reading through the stuff I have typed out.

This also helps during the editing process. When I get stuck with a story element while editing, I look at some pictures, or read over some of my notes. I play the playlist while editing, and maybe read over a poem I found that seemed really appropriate. All of this helps me get into the mindset of the book again, helps me rekindle my excitement and fervor for the story, no matter how “old” the idea is. This keeps me going, and continues to make the story seem real to me. After I started doing this, a story never seemed stale to me again. I can not think about a story for months, reopen the story file, and it immediately comes alive to me again.

It’s magical, and slightly like having multiple personality disorder, but it works wonders. Of course, you don’t want to spend months and months doing this. You do need to get around to actually writing the book. But a little bit of leg work could help you stay on track, and when you falter, remind you of exactly why you love the idea to begin with.