The Winner is...!

Me!

And you, for supporting me. With your pageviews and comments, and allowing me to quack into the void that is the Internet.

As I do every year, I'm going to keep writing until this draft is DONE. DONE DONE DONE.

I feel a little bit like a failure because I only won by the skin on my teeth. My final word count was 50,005. I know that's still winning, but my greedy brain was used to almost having an entire full length novel finished by now. Such is life and the things that happen to your word count when you move and your new apartment floods and you have to cook Thanksgiving by yourself so you spend two whole days in the kitchen. 

In other news, my husband and I lost our minds temporarily and went shopping on Black Friday. Yeah, I know. I know. It was CRAZY. We did get some awesome deals and some Christmas shopping for the kiddo done, so it was not all in vain.  Amazon has a lot of books on sale and it's really tempting just to go in an click "BUY" on all the books. Because books. I'll restrain myself, but only just barely. 

How was your Thanksgiving? Did you venture forth on Black Friday or did you stay home like a sane person?

The Silly, Completely Inconsequental Contest that Changed My Life

Source: wikimedia commons

If you listen closely, you can hear the frantic typing of thousands of writers gearing up for November, when they will embark on a month long trip into Insanity, Population: You. 

Some choose to outline their novel ahead of time (ahem). Some choose to completely wing it with notes, but have their novel premise and characters completely thought out. Others have put several ideas into a hat and when the clock strikes twelve on October 31st, they will choose the novel to write.

Yes, that's right: I'm talking about National Novel Writer's Month. Or NaNo for short.

In other parts of the Internet, writers are complaining about NaNoers, not because they're opposed to arbitrary goals with no consequences, but because they feel it makes the querying climate harsh for people who know not to polish their novel for two days before deciding it's good enough and sending it to unsuspecting agents everywhere. There's some truth to that, but honestly A) December was going to be a harsh month to query anyway and, B) these same inexperienced people are also your year round competition which really aren't competition because no agent is going to say yes to someone in the slush pile who clearly hasn't edited their novel.

Whatever your personal feelings for NaNo, I will always hold it in a special place in my heart, because the year I did NaNo for the first time was the year I really got "serious" about writing.

Let me explain. I was always serious about writing. I was always writing stories, and even attempting novels in high school. I started and stopped many novels since I was fourteen or so, with the notable mention going to the novel I wrote when I was 17 that was 15oK and still nowhere close to the middle. I honestly didn't know how long a book needed to be, because I'd never researched it before. This was before being a writer was ubiquitous with being on the Internet, blogging and maybe self publishing.

I read Stephan King's On Writing, and Orson Scott Card's Character and Viewpoint. I subscribed to Writer's Digest. I still didn't seem to be able to translate the pictures in my head to the page in front of me. Then I read an article in WD about NaNo and I thought it sounded fun. I still remember sitting in my old apartment and taking the magazine over to my computer so I could properly enter the website address into Google. Lately, I had been feeling depressed. Down. Like writing was just a dream I would always have, but never achieve. For the last few years my writing had taken a back seat to going to Massage Therapy school and working long hours. I was trying to build a business from scratch with other entrepreneurs, and it was grueling, heartbreaking work.

But I'd see my copy of On Writing, and feel a pang a sorrow. I'd get my issue of Writer's Digest in the mail, and devour all the articles like they would be my salvation.

And in a way, they were. Because when I went to the NaNo forums, I found a community of writers. Just like me. Beginners, completely new to everything about writing, and people who had been writing for years. Pros. Hobbyists. Amateurs. Amateurs to amateurs like I was that first year, who didn't know what my average daily word count was, or even what conflict was to a novel.

From there I furiously Googled things like creating characters and building conflict. I found Holly Lisle's website and promptly used half the free articles there to develop the idea I had for my book. Because I signed up for that year, and even though I had absolutely NO IDEA if I could even write 50K in a month, I knew I had to try. I knew time was passing, and if I was really serious about being a writer, of being the person who had books in a store instead of just being someone who talked about it, I knew that I needed to take writing more seriously. Instead of thinking "I'll write a book and then edit it" and letting that be this vague statement, I needed to figure out how one actually goes about doing that.

I started that first novel, called Seeing Red, about a modern day take on Little Red Riding Hood, and learned through the course of the month that I could type fast. Only having a day job to worry about, and my then boyfriend/future husband, I could ignore everyone for a month to work on my novel. And you know what? I wrote 150k words that month. 

More importantly? I finished that novel, something I had never done before. I'd written novels before, novels that long even, but I had never, ever managed to type "The End" without jumping from the middle straight to the end and writing one last scene.

It was invigorating. Exhilarating. I knew this was something I wanted to do the rest of my life, and I haven't looked back since. I wrote another book in February. I tried to edit the first book I wrote. Then I tried to edit the second. I bought and read LOTS of novels about writing. James Scott Bell's Plot and Structure was one of the first, recommended by just about everyone on the Internet, and it's still one of my favorites. 

I started this blog, to talk to other writers and blog about my thoughts on writing. You'll see those early posts, where I thought I had my process all figured out. I still cringe when I read them sometimes, but there's a lot of information there, and people still say they get some use out of them, so I leave them up.

Almost seven years later, and I feel like I know less in some ways than I did then. Writing is harder with all that knowledge in my head. All the dos and don'ts and rules and opinions and trends and what to write about and what not to write about and omg you're going to die in a broken heap if you put vampires in your novel. But you know what? I've written--and completed--at least seven novels (I think it's more, but I'm too tired to count right now). I've started countless more in those seven years, and I've lost count of how many books and articles on writing I've read. All but one of my best friends I found through the Internet, through our writing.

There's a dark voice inside me, one I think we all have, that wants to point out it's been seven years and I'm not published yet. That I still have issues starting and finishing novels. That I should be further along in my writing career by now. That I should at least be moaning about all the rejections I've stacked up over the years.

But right now, reflecting back on all the good that's happened to me, it's easy to push that voice aside. Cathy Yardly, in her phenomenal book Write Every Day: How to Write Faster and Write More talks about our fears, and points out that the things you fear are parts of yourself. Crushing your self doubt, smashing your internal editor to smithereens...these are all pieces of yourself. You doubt things because you're afraid. Of failure, of success, of mediocrity. This is a part of you. You can embrace and attempt to work through it, or let it consume you. I have not found another option; if you have, please tell me.

So in the spirit of celebration of how far I've come--how far we've all come, because every person that views my blog, that writes their own blog, that toils away at their novel when the whole world sometimes feels like it's against them--I'm going to do NaNo this year with the same bright eyed innocence and steely determination as I did that first year. I don't know what project I'm going to write yet--I keep jumping from project to project as one fear or another rears it's ugly head, but come October 31st at 11:59 my butt is going to be in front of the computer and I'll be ready to start a new book. I'm going to write it until I can type "The End". And then I'm going to celebrate.

I invite you to write along with me. I plan to post this month what I'm doing to prep myself (most of it will be of the "try not to freak out" variety since that's where my issues currently are), and then during November I'll blog about my progress. You can come and leave comments or links to your own update posts and we can cheer ourselves on.

What do you plan to do this November? Write a novel? Are you already in the middle of one? How do you shut out the voices about marketing and trends? 

  

Puerto Rico!

We landed in San Juan, Puerto Rico on Thursday. 

I can't say that I've been here long enough to really get an accurate picture of what my life is going to be like, especially since most of our worldly possessions are on a boat. It will be a couple more weeks before they arrive, but in the mean time we're making the best of the few things we have. 

I didn't think I would have as much culture shock as an "average" person, but I was wrong. I vacillate between terrified and elated. My husband and I will be out shopping for beach stuff with our son, and I'll fall back into my normal "out shopping with husband" mode, when something completely new and different strikes me, and it hits me all over again we're essentially living in a foreign country.

Because despite English being one of the two official languages of Puerto Rico, despite not needing a passport and everything being in dollars, this is still another culture. I've experienced culture shock before, in many small ways, moving from Upstate New York to Atlanta, Georgia. I thought I was ready; prepared. I was wrong.

All of the signs are in Spanish. The street signs, the Interstate exit signs, the signs at the Wal*mart. Everyone speaks mostly Spanish, although we haven't had issues checking out at stores and eating between the little Spanish I know, and the little English the person on the other side knows.

I feel bad for writing this. I feel like I'm complaining. All I thought about before we moved was what a fun adventure it was going to be. And it is. And will continue to be fun, and I'm far from miserable. I just didn't realize how emotionally draining it can be to constantly be assaulted with new things. It's not like we can hole up in our house until we feel ready to face the world either. 

The neighborhood we live in, known for it's dominance of people from the United States, is still 99% native Puerto Ricans. Despite the temperature staying around 80 degrees year round, most houses don't have central AC. The houses are older, and don't seal up properly, so if you choose to run the AC units in the wall, you're essentially cooling the outside. Not to mention electric is more expensive than in the States. There's Walgreens and CVS and Mcdonald's and Walmart, and Burger King, and even a Firehouse subs. But despite how familiar those places are, it is still very different experiencing it on the other side of the language barrier.

All in all, I've having fun. I like practicing my Spanish on unsuspecting people, and we live a block away from one of the most gorgeous beaches in the world. I can eat all the mangoes I want, and outside the Walmarts, they have a Frutera place you can get fresh fruit smoothies for super cheap. I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of all the cool food we can get here. 

I'm enjoying this part of my life, but change is always scary in a way. I think it's good for us to figure out why we feel what we do, and how to fix that. For me, I'm going to get better at Spanish and spend lots of time at the beach.

TED talks: Elizabeth Gilbert on Creative Genius

Hi! Still alive! I've got an update post coming, but in the meantime Rena shared this wonderful talk with me, and I in turn need to share it with you lovely people.

You might have already seen it, since it's four years old, but that doesn't make it less awesome. Watch it now and feel empowered and inspired! 

 

The House That Structure Built

Update: editing hasn't kill me. Yet. 

Neither has packing, although there was that time with the boxes of books that almost ended poorly.

Honestly, these update posts make me self conscious because I know I'm editing at the speed of a glacier. Most of my writer friends have started and finished their edits. Writers all over the blogosphere announce how happy they are to be done editing.

And still, I am revising. I'm not even done with the macro stuff yet. 

I worry there's something wrong with me. That maybe I just suck, and can't edit my way out of a paper bag, and that's just it for me. But then I kick some sense into myself, and realize it's not really me, it's the book at this point. Because sweet magnolia cupcakes, this book has a lot of things wrong with it. My rough drafts are messy to begin with, but this baby was written in ten months, starting when my son was five months old and I was carving out fifteen minutes during nap time to write a few sentences. I suppose it's no wonder there's some serious issues such as structure, tone, and voice, all the way down to the minor stuff like how I fell in love with the word "just". 

Or how I need to replot the entire thing. And kill some characters. And fix the plot holes. You know, the basics.

It's been very discouraging, because I feel like I'm taking too long. That I should be done now. It doesn't matter I only have about two hours a day, less lately since the son has decided to wake up between the hour and hour and a half mark from his nap. I've taken to staying up late a few nights to get some more time in. That lasts for a few days, and then I crash.

Lately, the moving thing, the whole let's go through our entire house worth of stuff and get rid of 50% of it so we can afford to move to Puerto Rico has cut into the writing time as well. My husband reports to work the first week of September, and now that our original plans of him staying in a friend's place for a month have changed, he has to get a place to stay a week after getting there (and staying in a hotel in the meantime). We're shipping our stuff over there a month earlier than expected.

So yeah, there's other stuff going on. But I still need to make time for writing, I still need to keep progressing even when that evil voice tells me I should just start all the way over. Again.

Because, here's the thing folks. Revision doesn't just teach you how to fix THIS book. I mean, yes, that's what you're doing when you revise. You're making the words not suck. But ideally, while you're revising, you're getting better at writing, so when the time comes to start a new rough draft, you're not making the same mistakes over and over again.

To do that, and to revise properly, you have to figure out what you did wrong the first time, and how to fix that. 

As easy as it sounds, it can be very hard. Very mentally taxing. I find drafting emotionally draining (or rejuvenating, depending on the scene in question), but revision is mentally taxing. You're picturing the book in it's entirety and thinking about what happens if you shift this scene forward. Or you're just focusing on one scene, and reading through each line for the moment where the pacing slacks off. Either way, it makes my already tired brain tired. 

So that's where I'm at, folks. I'm still editing, still toiling away. I'm making a lot of progress, don't get me wrong. I can see how each day of editing is moving me forward, and as soon as I figure out the new plot order, I can start the scene by scene stuff. But it still feels like it's taking forever and I should be done by now and I'm doomed and omg I'm just going to eat some chocolate and hide from the world. 

Then I remind myself it's taken other authors years to finish their edits, if we're going to play the compare yourself to others game, and then I don't feel so bad. 

So, sound off people. Where are you at in your writing? What do you do when it feels like it's taking too long?

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

Or rather, me?

I have been busy doing stuff. Lots of stuff. I went to Deliah Dawson's release party and then Alex Hughes's release party. I had tons of fun. It was really nice to get out and talk to other readers and writers. 

Being in front of your computer is important as a writer. It is. Most of the time it's just you and the words. But sometimes you need to get out into the world and interact with your fellow human beings. Sometimes you need to listen to music loudly and drive long distances, and bring a friend along to a party celebrating a book. What a wonderful idea for a party! I say we have parties for books more frequently than when they're just released, but that's me. 

Getting out and talking about books and movies and TV and songs and the weather and food was good for my psyche. It's me and my 15 month old most of the time, so having real conversations in the flesh with people is wonderful. I didn't have to tell anyone to not eat dirt or climb on the table, which is always a bonus.

When I wasn't at a release party eating cupcakes, I've been home, editing. I've been editing ZOMBIE ROAD TRIP for a while now, and it's taking longer than I thought. It always takes longer to go through the book for all the messed up stuff than I think it will, though, so we're right on track.

I also had a fantastic Mother's Day. I got a pedicure with my mom, and we ate Chinese food for lunch. Which is a trip to the bookstore short of perfect (don't worry, I just bought some books on Amazon to make up for it ;) ).

Life isn't going to slow down any time soon, so I'm about to go into "carve out time to blog" mode, since I'm neglecting the blog again, and time isn't going to appear any time soon. 

So what have you all been up to? Do you like the new blog design? I've been working on admin stuff for the blog in my spare time (hence no new posts) and I think you guys are going to like it. :D

Guest Post: The Top 5 Things I Wished I Knew Before I Started Writing

Everyone, please welcome Charity again to talk to us about about the publishing process. I'll be in the back, handing out cookies...

The Top 5 Things I Wished I Knew Before I Started Writing

by Charity Bradford

Welcome to number 2 of the Top 5 Things I Wished I Knew Before I Started Writing. This is part of the Mini Blog Hop for The Magic Wakes blog tour, and came about from a discussion the author had with a group of teen writers. The blog chain starts HERE.

2. The Publishing Industry (Many ways to publish—Always changing)

This is publishing at its simplest definitions. A starting point if you will for your industry education.

Traditional—Finish your book, send out queries to get an Agent; they shop your MS to the Big 6 5 publishers. (I have heard of agents shopping books to mid-sized publishers as well.) What you get: help with contract from the agent, an advance against the royalties (which I believe means you don’t make royalties until after you’ve exceeded what you were paid in advance) from the publishing house, and the house puts up the money to edit, design the cover, print, market, and distribute the book.

Mid-size—These publishers prefer to work through agents, but they are not closed to unagented queries. What you get: royalty rates are similar to the big NY publishers, but advances are a lot smaller. The house puts up the money to edit, design the cover, print, market, and distribute the book.

Small—You don’t have to have an agent to approach these publishers. You query the acquisitions editors. You get: they put up the money for an editor, cover, design and print of book, help with marketing but not as much as traditional (a lot is up to you), distribution, and royalties. Some houses may offer very small advances, but usually nothing is offered.

Self—It’s all you! Hiring an editor, design/formatting, book cover, getting ISBN, marketing, printing costs, complete control is in your hands as is the financial risk of printing.

What are the main considerations you should think about before choosing which route you want to go?

Time—This varies greatly between the options. Traditional publishing may take years for a book to hit the shelves. Small publishers deal with fewer books and therefore can get them out faster—maybe a year or less depending on their load. With self publishing you can have an e-book out in days or weeks, print copies within six months or less.

Money—Editors, printing, marketing, and distributing all take money. Lots of it. Do you have it? Or do you need an option where someone else funds all the little details?

Control—Who has it? Do you need it to stay sane? Are you flexible enough to let someone else make changes to your novel, choose your cover, and when/where/how it goes out to the public? Granted the different sizes of publishing houses will involve their authors to varying degrees. You just have to decide what works the best for you.

Q4U: What is it that YOU want from the publishing experience?

Next up is The Process.

5 Things I Wish I Knew About Writing Before I Started Mini Blog Hop Alex Cavanaugh--Intro to Blog Hop Cally Jackson--Time Elizabeth Poole--Publishing Options Kay Froebel--The Process Mason Canyon--Critique Partners Katy Sozaeva--Platform Building

Award Goodness

So my friend Rena, aka the Liz with the Dragons, has nominated me for an award. Awards are fun, and I always enjoy talking about myself, so here we go!

The rules:

• paste the award badge to your blog, 
• give us 11 random facts about yourself, 
• answer the 11 questions, 
• and choose your nominees

 Since I am not sure I can think of random facts about myself everyone wants to know, we're skipping right to the questions, m'kay? M'kay.

a.        What naive misconception did you have about writing books when you started

That your "process" was a static thing. Once you found your magical process at the end of a rainbow, that was it. Just, lather rinse repeat for every single book, forever and ever.

This is so not the case. I always try new things, partially because I am always trying to find a better way to do something, and also because the same thing doesn't work for each book. Some ideas I spend a lot of time working on the character, while the next book I might not have to work hard at all. 

This isn't to say that I don't spend equal time working on character, plot, and setting, just that some things come easier than others, but what things are easy and what is hard changes with each book.  
 

b.      What is your favorite part of writing? 

That warm, bubbly feeling in the pit of your stomach when you're writing and the rest of the world disappears. Your fingertips are flying across the keyboard and the words come easy.

I also really love brainstorming new ideas.

 

c.       What is the one thing you would change about publishing and why?

Wow, what a can of worms! Most of the business practices of publishing are there because they need to be, I think (please lay down your pitchforks). But there's a lot of things that could be done far more efficiently, and I think the new computer tracking systems make it hard to build a career. 

 

d.      Do you have an inspiration list? Can you give us a sample? 

I use music and pictures to inspire me, especially during the brainstorming stage of a project.

Pinterest is excellent for the picture aspect. Here are my boards. All of them are for a book idea. Some of those ideas are really far developed (Deja Vu and Sanctuary for example), but other ideas have been really slippery, so I actually used Pinterest in attempts to brainstorm (What the Water Gave Me for example). 

As for the music aspect, that's why Job invented iTunes. I make playlists for each book idea, and I have a separate playlist called The Idea Mine that's nothing but songs I find inspiring. A few of those songs are:

"A Question of Heaven" by Iced Earth

"Snuff" by Slipknot

"What the Water Gave Me" by Florence and the Machine (if you couldn't already tell from Pinterest) ;)

"Talons" by Bloc Party

and "Daisy" by Brand New

Tangent: there is an excellent Whedonverse music video to Daisy...

 

e.       If you were a super villain, what would be your fatal flaw? 

Hubris, for that is everyone's fatal flaw.

Other than that, it would be over thinking everything. I would try to run a Xanatos Gambit, over think all the possibilities, and never get anything done. I would be the less effective supervillain ever.

f.       If you were a super hero, what would be your super power? 

I would be the superhero that pulls all the other superheros together. When the chips are down and all hope seems lost, I would be the plucky sidekick that gives a rousing speech about friendship or courage or nachos that kicks the Moody Superhero off his/her butt and saves the day.

If I was short inspiration that day, I would just crib Aragorn's speech. He wouldn't mind, I'm sure.

 

g.      If you could go on a trip to a tropical island but you didn’t get to pack anything before you left, would you go?

Yes.

If you asked the same question about the Arctic Tundra the answer would be no. I figure, a tropical island, I could just buy whatever I needed there. Arctic Tundra, not so much.

Now for the nominees:

Joe Selby
Liz Davis
Charity Bradford (who also has a book coming out soon, that you should read because it's AMAZING)

...and anyone else that wants to answer these questions. Let us know in the comments section if you're game, so we can visit and see!

Nominees, because Rena asks awesome questions, I am going to ask that you answer the same ones. :D

Author Interview: Charity Bradford

State your name for the record: Charity Bradford

Identify your gender: A true Southern Lady, thank you very much.

Please state your birthdate: August 14th

Identify your place of birth: Kentucky, but I claimed Tennessee as home until North Carolina stole my heart.

Where do you live? Northwest Arkansas (I get around don’t I? I’ve also lived in Alabama, Utah, and a summer in Connecticut.)

Hair and eyes: brown hair, blue gray eyes—I’ve been told they change

What is your preferred OS? As in operating system? I guess Windows because it’s what I have, but I’d love to get a Mac.

  

Do you use a mousepad? How about a screen saver? Mousepad—check, when my kids haven’t “borrowed” it. Screen saver—check, it rotates through my photos of family and vacations.

What is your favorite color? Yellow! Bright sunshiny, blind you when you first see it kind of yellow.

What is your favorite hobby? Reading, always has been. I love to do lots of other stuff, but reading is what I usually wish I was doing.

What are your favorite TV shows? Castle, NCIS Los Angeles, and the new Beauty and the Beast 

What is your favorite smell? Vanilla with mint coming in at a close second.

What is the best feeling in the world? Feeling understood, loved and accepted for who you are imperfections and all.

What is the worst feeling in the world? Exhaustion. Why? Because it means I’m not going to get stuff done and guilt comes with that.

What are your favorite things to do on the weekends? Spend time with my family, preferably outside somewhere with our little dog in tow.

What is one vain thing about yourself of which you are proud? I have great legs. They are shapely and look really good in heels.

What is your ultimate vacation spot? Somewhere peaceful and not overly crowded. I love the mountains but think I could enjoy a sparsely populated non-touristy island as well. The top of my “to visit” places are the Isle of Skye in Scotland and Machu Picchu.

  Credit: http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/p/m/219c73/

 credit: wikipedia

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? “Not again.” LOL. Seriously all I really want to do is snuggle back up with my honey and pretend we don’t have kids.

What are your favorite foods? I like almost all foods but one, see below. Italian, Mexican, Chinese, you name it. Desserts are a weakness, especially if they contain chocolate.

What foods do you hate? I don’t like sea food of any kind. Ick.

What is your number one pet peeve? Slow drivers. I try not to speed (too much), but can we at least go the posted speed limit??

If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be? I really like the one I’ve got. Mom, wife, writer. That’s pretty perfect in my book. Hah! No pun intended.

What is on your bedroom walls? A print of “Dance Me to the End of Love” because this is how I see my relationship with my hubby. There are also two abstract paintings hubby did in blues, browns and whites.

 

What are your favorite movies? The 5 hour BBC Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson, Tangled, and the new Star Trek movie. :D

What's under your bed? Nothing! Pretty amazing isn’t it.

What one thing do you wish more people already knew? We are all on a journey and it doesn’t matter that they are all different. Everyone deserves respect and acceptance.

Tell us about your upcoming book.

 It truly is a dream come true for me. Here’s a shorten blurb for it. You can read the full one and watch the trailer on my website: charitybradford.com.

Talia Zaryn has a secret, one that will save her world and yet rip it apart. Only she can decide if the price is worth it.

Major Landry Sutton isn’t looking for a friend. He’s looking for a traitor. His ability to sense emotions convinces him Talia is that traitor until a touch sizzles between them. In an instant their minds are connected and they can communicate telepathically.

Can they learn to trust each other and the magic coursing through their veins in time to defeat an alien army?

What was the inspiration for it?

This all started with a dream. Not the one to become a writer, but one that left me sweaty and panting for air because I thought I was meeting my death at the hands of some pretty scary creatures. It was one of those dreams I never forgot, and when the story I was writing wasn’t working out, somehow it weaved its way into a new story. Now if only I can write a book using the dream I had about invading chocolate chip cookies…

Give the audience one piece of writing advice.

 Just do it. If you need to write in order to feel whole, sane and happy, just do it. Who cares if no one else ever reads it? I believe that the need to write can be as much a part of who you are as brown hair and blue eyes. ;)

And finally, what skills do you bring to humanity when the inevitable robozombieapocalypse happens?

I might not be much help in a normal zombie apocalypse, but I’ll be a superwoman in a robozombie apocalypse. Why? Because all things electronic short out or crash regularly in my presence. Yeah, it’s sad because I really like computers, cell phones, TVs, etc. Unfortunately, I must have a high natural energy output because nothing lasts long around me.

Should I start developing this talent for on demand usage? And is there something you know that you’re not telling us?