Funniest Website (Maybe Ever)

So by the title you know I have commitment issues (don't tell my husband). I am not going to go so far as to say this is the funniest website ever, but...it's pretty close.


Hyperbole And A Half

Critical Writing Skills: Originality

Today kicks off my new blog series, Critical Writing Skills. Each post will cover one skill that I think is essential to novelists. Feel free to suggest skills in the comments section. I would be really interested to learn what other people think is “critical” for a writer. Today’s topic, as you may have gleaned from the title, is Originality.

Ahhhhhh originality. The bane of all writers. Every single piece of information out there about writing says you need to have a good book idea. And by good, they really mean original. But what are we to do when it fells like EVERY idea has been written already? And by someone more talented than we are? And better looking? And richer? (maybe those last few are just my personal worries…)

It’s almost seems like a subversive form of torture, to tell us we have to write something original. There are only so many basic scenarios that people can get into, after all. Some experts claim there are as little as seven basic plots, and others say 20, and so on. The type of conflict your character will come up against can be boiled down in a few basic types.

On top of that, within each genre there are conventions that you are expected to uphold, so that further reigns in some possibilities. For example, in romance, neither the female love interest nor the male love interest can die. Period. It’s not considered a romance novel if one of the main characters dies (or so I have been told/read).

So what’s a writer to do? Imagine the horror of writing a query letter, which is boiling your novel down to it’s core components, and realizing the book sounds just like Romeo and Juliet, or A Farewell to Arms. That’s not going to catch the mailman’s eye, much less an agent’s.

I’ve talked to many different writers, and most don’t have a problem coming up with an original idea. A post man who lives underwater, let’s say. But my personal theory is most writers run afoul of the Cliché Monster by not pushing this idea further. Most writers, with that kernel of an idea, would move on to developing the underwater environment for their post man, and the post man’s family, and the kraken that is trying to swallow him whole before he makes his deliveries. After all, the post office’s motto is through rain or shine, snow or sleet…and kraken, apparently.

This starfish wants to grow up to be a kraken.

So today I am going to give you this suggestion. The next time you have a book idea, try to tinker with it some more. I know everyone’s process is different, so fit this in however you need to, but if you feel like your ideas are a little lackluster, then spend some more time with them. You’re heard a lot of different book ideas—there’s a lot of them out there. Some of these ideas are even published. Browsing your local library or bookstore will reveal that. But not every one of those ideas grab you, do they? Some of this is because it’s not your personal taste in reading material, but I think a good part of it is because the idea is similar to something you’ve already read. There’s no pressing desire to find out what happens.

I suspect people are feeling that way about paranormal-vampire YA. There could be the most original character hiding in the latest paranormal YA romance, but because it’s so very much like Twilight (normal girl meets hot abnormal guy who is a supernatural something or other. Normal girl is in danger, and hot guy has to protect her. They have a forbidden romance for various reasons.) the YA authors are either going to have to steer clear of that concept, or write something shockingly brilliant to break out above the slew of other novels similar to it.

On the other hand, look at Harry Potter. Most elements from the series are not original, but the way Rowling puts the “chosen one---boy finds out he has special powers---magical school of learning---secret magic world on Earth” elements together felt fresh and new at the time.

The idea behind originality is not coming up with something no one has ever thought of, but packaging familiar elements into a book that FEELS brand new.

How one goes about this is tricky. Personally, I usually make sure my ideas are “original” by combining them with other ideas I have. I have tons and tons of ideas floating around in my head. I think about them, play with them, wonder what would happen if I tweaked the idea slightly like so, and after a while I come up with an idea that feels new to me, and doesn’t sound like something I have already read. Sometimes the ideas will naturally do the Transformer thing where they merge into something awesome, and sometimes I have to intentionally nudge them.

I discovered a new way of nudging ideas into originality just this past weekend. If you’ve kept up with my blog, you’ll know that I have been struggling with ideas to write. I have plenty of them, but none of them felt so pressing that I had to write the book RIGHT NOW. I’ve looked at my idea folder dozens of times, and tinkered around with several ideas.

This flower is even more original than me!

 I decided to look at all the ideas I had at once, and in doing so, discovered magic.


I took four big pieces of white printer paper and taped them together. On one side I wrote down all the character ideas I had in green Sharpie pen, and circled their name like a cluster map without the center.

Next to the character ideas I wrote the basic plot ideas I have, as well as various elements I enjoy. Again, I just wrote a quick blurb and circled it, this time with a black Sharpie pen. So I had things like “characters forced to be together” and “walking into a gas station and everything changes” next to each other.

On the right side of the paper, in red Sharpie, I wrote down all the setting ideas I have, along with various character jobs and magic abilities. So things like “snowy ice world”, “hacker”, and “siren” wound up next to each other.

The end result was three different colored columns of several different types of ideas you can have for a story.

I was going to start connecting the ideas together using another Sharpie, but I was so pleased with the results I decided to leave it as it. Now whenever I need to brainstorm for a book, I can just look at my cluster map. It’s a really great way of connecting ideas you wouldn’t have considered before, because everything is right there.

Well, this entry is long enough, so we’re going to leave it here for today. What about you guys? Do you give thoughts to making sure your idea is a strong one or do you just trust everything will work out?

I Hate Coming Up with Clever Titles

It’s that time again folks. It’s progress report day, and I am finally starting to get back into a regular routine. The unpacking is nearly complete, and my new office is almost moved in. I am so excited about having my own writing space again, I grin every time I walk into the room.

I’ve gotten some writing accomplished during the past week. I am working on developing the characters and plot for my next book. Editing is still a pain in the neck, but somehow I feel less pressure to get everything perfect at one pass if I work on another book at the same time. I can only do the really hard core editing a few hours a day, so I finish my editing first, and then I work on my newest project.

I am also thinking about NaNoWriMo. If you’re never done NaNo, you’re really missing out. It’s a month of insanity. An activity that is normally as solitary as writing a book can be trying, so every year I like to participate in NaNo. It happens every November. It’s free to sign up, and the goal is to write a 50,000 words in one month. This puts you well over the half way mark for a finished novel.

Crazy, I know. It’s about 2,000 words a day, which can be difficult for some people. I am one of those typing freaks that can type quickly, and if I know what’s going to happen in a scene, I can really make the words fly. So the word count isn’t the reason I participate. I just love the camaraderie and the forums. A bunch of geeky writers get together and nerd-out for a month. What’s not to love? I also think it teaches writers discipline too.

Some people criticize NaNo for encouraging people to write crap, because the emphasis is on quantity and not quality, but I disagree. People will write crap no matter what month it is. NaNo encourages writers to finish what they start, and makes a lot of fledging writers realize they can actually write an entire book. Of course, they then have to edit the darned thing, but baby steps, people. Baby steps.

Besides, I never sacrifice quality for quantity in my books anyway, so it’s not a problem for me.

In other news, I am working on getting another blog series together, because I really enjoyed my last (and only) one. This series is going to be called “Critical Writing Skills” and going to highlight a skill we should have as writers each blog post. I have three or four skills in mind already, but feel free to leave suggestions of what you feel is a skill every writer has to have. The first post will be published this Wednesday, and it’s on Originality.

How was everyone’s weekend? Did we all make good progress on our various novels?

Embrace the Boredom

So the moving of the boxes is over. Now comes unpacking. It’s only a few boxes because I am only staying with my parents for 4 months, but I still LOATHE unpacking. It’s just so very boring.

Which is why I am here today to tell you to embrace the boredom.

Most people’s minds are filled with clutter. Thoughts of what to make for dinner, and when to pick up the kids, and what’s on TV, and when that next Neil Gaiman book is going to be published fill our minds. Normally we distract ourselves with music and TV and noise while we perform monotonous tasks that busy our hands as they empty our minds.

But as writers, this can be some great time for thinking. We writers are a strange breed, and I am sure most of you have some activity built into your day, even if you don't realize it, that you use as your “writing-thinking-time".

Driving, walking the dog, doing the dishes, and gardening can all be considered WTT activities. You mull over characters and plot their love and demise. No matter what you’re thinking about, it’s good to give you mind some room to breathe. Sitting at the computer, crunching words day in and day out without reprieve can stifle your creativity. Of course you should be productive, whether your writing or editing, but some times you need to just walk away from a writing problem and mull it over.

I find it especially helpful if I use this WTT for specific writing problems. Sometimes I use it to develop a character, or unsnare a plot, or brainstorm for an idea.

So today, even though I dread unpacking, I plan to use this ripe WTT for working on my next novel. Now that pesky things like moving are out of the way, I finally feel like I have the time and energy to focus on my writing again. I got most of the worldbuilding I am going to need at this early stage done, so now it’s time to move onto plot and characters.

Hello WTT!

What about you? When you do like to take time out to think about your writing? What other methods do you use to give yourself a little distance on your writing?

Moving Day!

Hi guys!

I am moving today (and yesterday) so there won't be a regular blog post until Wednesday probably. So! In the meantime, cast your eyes to the other wonderful bloggers out there and have a great day!

Decoding Beta Readers

Yesterday I posted about my trials as a beta reader. Authors talk about beta readers as though they want the same thing out of their beta readers as the next guy, but this simply isn’t true.

I love to beta read, and think it’s a great way for me personally to improve my writing. I have been beta reading for years, and I noticed that certain phrases don’t always mean what I think they do.

For example, when someone tells me they want “brutal honesty” this usually means “please tell me I am the next Dan Brown/Stephanie Meyers/J.K. Rowling”.

(Just like The Da Vinci Code. Only better.)

Here are some other phrases I have decoded the double meanings of. Don’t thank me, just send chocolate:

“I have edited this manuscript extensively” really means “I ran MS Word Spell Check.”

“This is my seventh finished novel” really means “The other six novels were only 10,000 words long Star Trek-Harry Potter slash fanfiction. But each “novel” had a different vastly inappropriate character pairing.”

“Tell me if these characters are working or not” really means “These characters aren’t working at all.”

“Tell me if the plot feels too unoriginal or cliché” Really means “this plot is really unoriginal or cliché.”

Seriously though, I am kidding. I swear, please, just kidding. A couple of people who I beta read for actually read my blog, so please for the love of all that is good in the world, don’t think I was talking about you. I was just making a vain attempt at being funny. I know, I know. I realize I should never try to be funny, and I have learned my lesson.

(I am not the funny one in the family. That's my twin brother's job. He never has to wear the Not Funny At All Hat.)

I am cracking wise about beta reading because I recently had an…incident with a person I beta read for in real life. I dubbed her Jane in yesterday’s post, and taking the wonderful advice of Charity Bradford (you should read her blog, she’s funny and sweet) and Joseph Selby (you should read his LifeJournal, he’s funny and witty), I told her how I felt about her book.

Nicely, of course. But I told her I thought she needed to take a step back from her novel to try to figure out what wasn’t working. She’s written four of them in three years, and they all have the same feel of good-but-not-quite there. I also told her all of the strengths of the book, and pointed out specific examples of what was working. But I also think her writing still feels too green and fresh.

There comes a point where I think you need to take a step back and think, “Maybe the answer isn’t write novel after novel, and hope someday to get published.” In Jane’s case at least, I think she needed to edit her novels better. Get into those manuscripts and just roll around in her prose, and pull it apart. She’s not planning on publishing the first one, so there’s no worrying about “ruining” or “breaking” the novel from over editing. But editing means more than just checking the spelling, grammar, and continuity of the novel (you know, when Sam has a glass of Coke in his hand in Scene A, but a glass of Pepsi in Scene B. Not to mention that Sam would never, ever drink Pepsi to begin with).

It’s not like I expect Jane to do as I say, not as I do. I am tearing the last novel I wrote apart. Literally. It’s not pretty. There’s all sorts of notes and red pen markings and notebook pages of character changes. I feel like a surgeon who’s opened up a patient for a routine gallbladder-ectomy (I am aware that’s not a real word) and discovered the patient riddled with…something. Cancer maybe. Or all of the organs were replaced with kitchen appliances. Either way, that surgeon shakes his head and says, “This isn’t good.”

(Not good at all.)

And of course, what I think personally about Jane’s prose still remains at the end of the day, my humble, unpublished opinion. But she didn’t react to my gentle, sweeten-to-make-the-bad-medicine-go-down opinions very well. She made some thinly veiled comments about how I wasn’t published yet either, and she’d taken into consideration what I thought.

To be Frank (you can be Jeannette), it hurt my feelings. I really wasn’t trying to be mean, I swear. It’s hard to hear criticism, no matter how nice the person is trying to be. I have been on the other end of that relationship, and it always stings. But what good am I as a beta reader if I don’t tell her what I really think? I was hoping maybe she’d get inspired by my gentle criticisms, and this might be the event that turns her writing career around.

It’s also my policy as a beta reader to offer as many suggestions or fixes to any problems I think exist. I also explain in detail WHY I think something isn’t working, so the writer can make their own decisions. It’s not like every suggestion I make the writer should follow or he’s clearly mental. Deciding what works and what doesn’t is a process you as a writer must face alone; beta readers are just other people’s opinions after all. If I say I think Scene A has too much gratuitous violence (hard to imagine, I know), and the author disagrees with me, but sees why I remarked on the violence, maybe they will get an idea for revision that doesn’t change their vision for the book, but addresses possible concerns.
Then the author still gets something useful out of the Author-Beta reader exchange, even if they ultimately decides to not make a change you suggested.

So, at the end of my long ramble, are a few points:

a) Know exactly what you want out of a beta reader. Do you want them to pay attention to spelling and grammar or just the plot-character-theme stuff? You should clearly state what you want from the beta reader, and what type of feedback you are comfortable with. I have never, ever heard someone tell me “go gentle, I am sensitive to criticism”, but this is the case many times. If you know you are sensitive to criticism, there are a few things to do about this:
1. Let your mom read your book first. Or your spouse, or brother, or whoever is going to tell you how wonderful you are. Don’t be ashamed; there’s nothing wrong with a little ego inflation now and then.
2. If you decide to embark on the wonder and despair that which is beta readers, make sure you tell them. It’s so much better to know someone is a little sensitive in the beginning, than finding out later (case in point: my recent experience with Jane).
3. DO NOT ask questions you can’t handle the answer to. This seems really, really simple, but my goodness, is this a doosy. Not just in writing, but in your real life too. Remember when you were in high school, and you really like that guy/girl? And you didn’t know if they liked you back? And you imagined all the dates and the wonderful times together? And then you found out they thought you smelled like cats and old tires? Crushing, wasn’t it? So yes, before you ask beta readers questions, or even submit the book at all, make sure you’re ready to cope with hearing about all of your mistakes.
4. Try as best as you can to cope with it. Criticism will always be there, and it’s best to start trying to put up with it now. Also, try not to get bitter about criticism and publishing in general. I have meet people my age who are like shriveled, bitter old people, always cackling about how no one understands their magnificent prose, and those darn kids on their lawn. It’s not pretty.

b) What do you personally want from a beta reader? I am very curious as to what other people have to say on the matter. Even those of us who haven’t been published can still relate to the beta reading matter. What qualities do you like for, if any? What do you tell them ahead of time, if anything? Do you feel like it’s mostly helpful or useless?

c) What about the flip side? What do you like about beta reading for other people? What don’t you like? What do you wish you knew now about beta reading that you didn’t know earlier?

Ultimately, I think beta reading can be a vital tool for a writer. It improves your writing whether you’re the one doing the reading or the writing. As the reader, you can clearly spot common mistakes that people make, or what the author is doing in the story that isn’t working. You can then apply this to your own writing. As the writer, having someone read your story is a God-send. They have a fresh set of eyes, and help me see what on the page, and not what I think is on the page.

Advice for the Insane

So, I haven’t been feeling well these last few days, but I am on the mend, as they say. I thought I would post about a recent experience I had, an experience some of you may have had as well.

There’s a writer’s group that meets every week at the local library. They usually meet during Friday evenings, a night I work, so I normally can’t make the meetings. But honestly, I am not sure I would go every week even if I could.

I made last week’s meeting, and while everyone there were supportive of each other and their work, I still felt like they were missing the bigger picture. Each meeting they would read out loud from their recent work, and the other members would offer their advice and feedback.

Next, each member talked about their respective progress on the querying front. One particular writer, let’s call her Jane, has written four books. She wrote a book, queried it, it was unanimously rejected. Lather, rinse, repeat for four books.

Needlessly to say, she’s a little bitter. What strikes me about Jane is she’s also very confused as to why her books are being rejected. She asked me to look over her books, and offer some feedback. Having done so, I can say she’s a talented writer with good ideas. I can also say I know why she’s been rejected. I am not trying to be mean, she’s a great writer, but her writing just isn’t quite there. Have you ever had that experience? You’ve read some other aspiring author’s manuscript and you can just feel the… “greenness” of it?

I tried to figure out a really nice way of putting it, but I am not sure she’s gotten my point. I told her all of the strengths of her writing, the good plot points, and so on, but I also mentioned that writing is a craft, and maybe she should work on giving her latest manuscript a deeper edit. Jane said she’s clean some things up, but from the way she was talking about it, I got the impression she was just going to change some words around.

Here is my problem: How do you tell someone they need to study writing more? How do you suggest that maybe churning novel after novel out, while helpful, isn’t the only answer to rejection? That maybe Jane should also think about why she’s being rejected in the first place?

It’s not like I don’t need to improve my own writing. It’s not like I am some grandmaster sage of writing with All the Answers. These are just my opinions; I am not even sure telling Jane she needs to work on her writing is any of my business. I told her what worked and what didn’t with her book, so I did what she asked of me as a beta reader.

It’s something I have been giving a lot of thought to, and wondered what all of your experiences were. What do you all do when you beta read?